Eight Ways To Tackle Fatigue In Your Forties
Fatigue in our forties is real. We are in peak-mum mode, raising the kids, chief taxi driver, caring for ageing parents, volunteering for kids school, working, and housekeeping. No amount of coffee, Berocca, spa trips and weekend lie-ins seem to work, so we just get used to feeling tired.
Then we encounter the peri-menopause symptoms, which conveniently coincide with the demands of needy teenagers, running a business, taking on a more senior role at work, overseeing home renovations, or even taking care of the family pets.
We are so consumed by the many demands of our lives that we put our well-being on the back burner, and literally stop thinking about it. We survive with coffee, wine, late nights and sugar.
We think being knee-deep in busy schedules with no downtime is normal. That’s what everyone does at our age, right?
If we feel tired all the time, and we are putting our well-being last at the peak of our lives, how can this be normal? What’s happened in our society, where women, particularly, are expected to do it all, and be a good friend, mother, daughter, employee, and feel energised and fulfilled?
I realised pretty quickly, when diagnosed with stage 3 cancer last year, that I was heavily indoctrinated in this cycle. I absolutely didn’t put myself anywhere near the top of my priority list.
Since taking nearly a year to heal, I am thankfully now cancer-free. I did overhaul some pretty toxic habits, which were trapping me in a highly adrenalised state and burning me out. I have since adopted some firmer boundaries around my self-care, and some of them aren’t as obvious as you might think.
Here they are.
Say no more often than yes and take on less.
Saying no more than yes means you are never over-committed, feeling guilty for cancelling at the last minute, or feeling that dreadful sense of obligation to do the thing.
Saying no more than yes allows you breathing space to do what you love and what aligns with your values, and brings you joy.
Of course, we all have to do some things that don’t fit this brief, but the trick is to keep the obligatory ‘yes’s to a minimum.
Rule out any serious health concerns
How often do us women put this off? It’s uncomfortable and sometimes a bit embarrassing, but you have got to check your bits! Get a blood test, check your levels, talk to your GP about all of your health concerns: Get your boobs checked, check your poo, get your moles checked, have your pap smear, and rule out any health concerns (no matter how unimportant you might think they are).
Ditch the wine
Wine, (and all alcohol for that matter) while nice,- has the negative effect of stopping you from getting deep REM sleep. It also affects blood sugar, gut health, and muscle recovery - the list goes on. Drink a sleep-inducing herbal tea at night and go to bed early. You will feel 100% better the next day.
Protein before coffee
Caffeine can cause temporary spikes in blood sugar levels. Without food to help stabilise blood sugar, this spike can be followed by a drop, leading to fatigue, hunger, and irritability.
Eating some protein, such as eggs, a protein shake or some yoghurt, before coffee will calm your blood sugar and give you a more sustained energy release throughout the day.
Protein with every meal
Why? It enhances muscle recovery which in turn gives you energy to keep going. You will find that you can avoid the 3pm sleepies if you have more protein than carbs.
Wake with the sun and move
Morning sunlight, especially during the first 30-60 minutes after waking, signals to the body that it's time to be awake and alert, influencing your body's internal clock (circadian rhythm).
This can help you feel more alert and less tired throughout the day. It also boosts vitamin D. The morning sun plays a crucial role in vitamin D production, boosting our immune system, enhancing our mood, regulating our internal body clock, promoting eye health, lowering blood pressure, and aiding in weight management.
Exercise in the morning
We all know that we should do more exercise, but not just so you can fit into the high-waisted jeans and do a French-tuck!
Exercising daily in the morning is one of the best ways to produce more energy for the day. It can increase stamina levels by increasing oxygen and nutrient flow, and the release of endorphins, which can improve mood and reduce fatigue.
Delegate and give the family more responsibility
Chances are you are taking on more of the household chores than you should be, because sometimes we just get sick of asking others to do it. We don’t want to be the nagging wife/mum, so we just do it, and besides that, we know when we do it, it’s done well.
This is how we end up having an overflowing to-do list, and find that not one item on the list is rest and self-care for you.
This topic deserves an entire seperate blog post, but start by having a chat with your partner and include the kids if they are old enough.
On a large piece of butcher’s paper list out all the jobs that need doing. This list should include absolutely everything that you do - buying birthday gifts, worming the pets, cleaning the car etc.
Then get them to choose which jobs they want to do for the family. Explain that families support each other, and each member should contribute so that mum doesn’t have to do it all - and gets cranky as a result.
Make the kids bring their washing to the laundry and clean their rooms weekly as a mandatory.
Many hands make light work and it shouldn’t be all on you.
Wrapping up
We all know putting ourselves first is hard, when there are so many competing demands, but at the end of the day it’s a choice. We are worthy of downtime and of self-care. Take it from me, don’t martyr yourself and your health, for the sake of ‘looking after your family’.
Teach them to do it themselves, ask them to wait and explain to friends and family that you are making more time for yourself now. They will respect you for setting those boundaries, and if they don’t, maybe don’t be friends with them anymore!
What techniques have you used to bring self-care higher up the list for you?
